CT's first thought is the near absurd: Oh, god, I broke him.
Her second is similar, but a lot more eloquent, an awareness of the weight of the information she just threw through the metaphorical window like a brick. If she'd been shocked to see it in the files, and Carolina had put together the pieces so quickly, then... what must be going on in his head, she can't begin to guess. (And she refuses to look. Stop trying to tempt her.)
"I'm sorry. I know it's— a lot. But I also know that you deserve to know the truth, even if it doesn't... undo anything, or make what happened any less horrific."
"No, no, I uh... I appreciate the heads up," he says, as if he was just informed it might rain during his jog. Yeah, he's coping.
Suddenly everything is lining up. The assignments, the leaderboard, the AI, the way the Counselor and Director talked to South---- if those were the things they said while North was present, what did they say when he was gone? South was already prone to envy.
North already knew his death was engineered. But he did not realize to what extent, or by whom.
"Do you want any beer? I think I'm going to get one out of the icebox."
Part of her wonders if she should be discouraging this, given his sister's blatant struggles with abuse of the stuff, but... honestly after what she just dropped on him, he's got a right to a damn beer.
"Yeah, sure, I'll take a beer." It's not her usual drink of choice, always been a gin sort of person, but it's not really about the taste right now. It's a deliberate choice to agree, to mirror as a part of... whatever social ritual this now is.
So she watches him move toward the ice box, and calculates what the hell she needs to say next to get him to do more than appreciate the heads-up. She doesn't have to try to look to see the way the pieces are slotting together behind his eyes.
Don't worry, CT. North is responsible. He just doesn't often get the chance to drink, what with having to make sure South is okay. Forgive him for indulging a few times.
He comes back with a pair of cold ones, popping the caps off with a metal bottle opener and passing CT one. Then he stares into his, not drinking it yet. "...So was there an end goal in mind, for this whole thing? The experiment."
CT taps her nails against the cold neck of the bottle and pulls a face, this one tinged with that quiet rage that always seemed to simmer beneath the surface even when she wasn't tossing the conversational equivalents of live grenades into the room back in the program.
"As far as I could see? No. It was all just this— pointless psychological trial, like they just wanted to see what she'd do, how far they could push it before... something happened, I guess."
It took longer than they may have expected it to, by the sounds of it. But something definitely happened.
"They'd probably have tried to spin it as somehow valuable data if caught, I think the twins in the other squads might have been their sorry excuse for control and comparison variables since Hawaii and California got AI—" Huh, was that from Carolina, or the Eye? She honestly can't remember. "—but it's all nonsense. They had your psyche profiles. There's no chance they didn't know the bomb they were arming. She still set it off, but— okay I'm getting too metaphorical... no. No, there was no clear end goal. But it still worked as they expected, I'm sure."
"Wow! That's great. Really cool." For all his sarcasm, North feels like he's going to throw up.
In a lot of ways, this makes it... a little less South's fault, at least? And there's some comfort in that, he thinks. She still has to be accountable for the things she chose to do, for letting her hatred of Theta get out of control, for not thinking her ridiculous plan through---- but she was manipulated. It's not like this was all circumstance. This was engineered. The Director played with fire, and let North be the one to get burned.
"It's extremely fucking stupid," CT echoes, sympathetic wrinkle in her brow. After a second's consideration, she reaches to give his shoulder a squeeze. "If I could've told you sooner, I would've, I just... didn't want to risk making things worse."
Rushing back to South before he was ready would've done neither of them any good. This brings new context, context South needs for her own actions, too, but...
"What happened still happened. She still chose to do what she did to you," she affirms, again. "...but the woman we're seeing now is not the same woman we started that program with, is she? Not really."
"No," he admits quietly, eyes falling to the table. "She's always had a temper, y'know? Most of the time in a fun way. Just--- my spitfire sister, getting mad about something stupid. We could laugh about it later. But over the past couple years, she just... stopped laughing. She got so angry. And then I did too. ...It scares me."
She keeps the hand there, won't remove it unless he shrugs her off. It's something Connie would've done, more than the person she became later. "The Project did a lot of damage to all of us, but what they were doing to you two..."
It's something else. She doesn't even have the words. Fucking stupid, but also just... a nightmare.
"...it is scary. South loves you, North, I could see that even on her worst days of complaining. To turn her into someone that could hurt you like this— that's why I was so worried when she turned up. If she could hurt you, she could hurt anyone, in a way I would never have expected of her before. And knowing someone can do that to you— it's scary, and it makes you react in ways you're not used to. I— actually don't remember ever really seeing you angry. Definitely not the loud kind, anyway."
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no subject
CT's first thought is the near absurd: Oh, god, I broke him.
Her second is similar, but a lot more eloquent, an awareness of the weight of the information she just threw through the metaphorical window like a brick. If she'd been shocked to see it in the files, and Carolina had put together the pieces so quickly, then... what must be going on in his head, she can't begin to guess. (And she refuses to look. Stop trying to tempt her.)
"I'm sorry. I know it's— a lot. But I also know that you deserve to know the truth, even if it doesn't... undo anything, or make what happened any less horrific."
no subject
Suddenly everything is lining up. The assignments, the leaderboard, the AI, the way the Counselor and Director talked to South---- if those were the things they said while North was present, what did they say when he was gone? South was already prone to envy.
North already knew his death was engineered. But he did not realize to what extent, or by whom.
"Do you want any beer? I think I'm going to get one out of the icebox."
no subject
Part of her wonders if she should be discouraging this, given his sister's blatant struggles with abuse of the stuff, but... honestly after what she just dropped on him, he's got a right to a damn beer.
"Yeah, sure, I'll take a beer." It's not her usual drink of choice, always been a gin sort of person, but it's not really about the taste right now. It's a deliberate choice to agree, to mirror as a part of... whatever social ritual this now is.
So she watches him move toward the ice box, and calculates what the hell she needs to say next to get him to do more than appreciate the heads-up. She doesn't have to try to look to see the way the pieces are slotting together behind his eyes.
no subject
He comes back with a pair of cold ones, popping the caps off with a metal bottle opener and passing CT one. Then he stares into his, not drinking it yet. "...So was there an end goal in mind, for this whole thing? The experiment."
no subject
CT taps her nails against the cold neck of the bottle and pulls a face, this one tinged with that quiet rage that always seemed to simmer beneath the surface even when she wasn't tossing the conversational equivalents of live grenades into the room back in the program.
"As far as I could see? No. It was all just this— pointless psychological trial, like they just wanted to see what she'd do, how far they could push it before... something happened, I guess."
It took longer than they may have expected it to, by the sounds of it. But something definitely happened.
"They'd probably have tried to spin it as somehow valuable data if caught, I think the twins in the other squads might have been their sorry excuse for control and comparison variables since Hawaii and California got AI—" Huh, was that from Carolina, or the Eye? She honestly can't remember. "—but it's all nonsense. They had your psyche profiles. There's no chance they didn't know the bomb they were arming. She still set it off, but— okay I'm getting too metaphorical... no. No, there was no clear end goal. But it still worked as they expected, I'm sure."
no subject
In a lot of ways, this makes it... a little less South's fault, at least? And there's some comfort in that, he thinks. She still has to be accountable for the things she chose to do, for letting her hatred of Theta get out of control, for not thinking her ridiculous plan through---- but she was manipulated. It's not like this was all circumstance. This was engineered. The Director played with fire, and let North be the one to get burned.
"God. That's so fucking stupid," he finally adds.
no subject
"It's extremely fucking stupid," CT echoes, sympathetic wrinkle in her brow. After a second's consideration, she reaches to give his shoulder a squeeze. "If I could've told you sooner, I would've, I just... didn't want to risk making things worse."
Rushing back to South before he was ready would've done neither of them any good. This brings new context, context South needs for her own actions, too, but...
"What happened still happened. She still chose to do what she did to you," she affirms, again. "...but the woman we're seeing now is not the same woman we started that program with, is she? Not really."
no subject
no subject
She keeps the hand there, won't remove it unless he shrugs her off. It's something Connie would've done, more than the person she became later. "The Project did a lot of damage to all of us, but what they were doing to you two..."
It's something else. She doesn't even have the words. Fucking stupid, but also just... a nightmare.
"...it is scary. South loves you, North, I could see that even on her worst days of complaining. To turn her into someone that could hurt you like this— that's why I was so worried when she turned up. If she could hurt you, she could hurt anyone, in a way I would never have expected of her before. And knowing someone can do that to you— it's scary, and it makes you react in ways you're not used to. I— actually don't remember ever really seeing you angry. Definitely not the loud kind, anyway."