It's hard not to start feeling like she's constantly the last person to know things about her own life, right now. She has to take a second to let the words sink in through the barrier of the contrariness that feeling inspires, squeezing North's hand tighter again as she does.
Anxiety disorder. Sure. That makes as much sense as anything, for him. (How did she go all these years not realising how deep it all ran, in him? Fuck.)
"...I don't even know what it could be," she says, finally. "Lina pointed at the, uh— intense emotions and uh. Codependency. But that's... kinda it. Probably why I get so fucking jealous. This uh..."
Her grip loosens, feeling suddenly embarrassed and like she should pull her hand away but not actually wanting to.
"...Theta— Theta wasn't the first time. Just the worst."
"...usually when you uh, got— serious, with someone. Like, dating wise. Friends, sometimes, but they— they didn't usually take time the same way, I-I don't know."
She's cringing even as she admits it, humiliated by her own stupid emotions. It's not normal to be jealous of people around your brother, like this, and knowing it's something wrong with her brain helps rationalise it but... ugh.
"You never did anything wrong, you were just... living your fuckin' life and I'd sit there feeling fucking sick because you didn't have as much time for me and— it's fucking stupid. I never said anything because it was fucking stupid."
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It's hard not to start feeling like she's constantly the last person to know things about her own life, right now. She has to take a second to let the words sink in through the barrier of the contrariness that feeling inspires, squeezing North's hand tighter again as she does.
Anxiety disorder. Sure. That makes as much sense as anything, for him. (How did she go all these years not realising how deep it all ran, in him? Fuck.)
"...I don't even know what it could be," she says, finally. "Lina pointed at the, uh— intense emotions and uh. Codependency. But that's... kinda it. Probably why I get so fucking jealous. This uh..."
Her grip loosens, feeling suddenly embarrassed and like she should pull her hand away but not actually wanting to.
"...Theta— Theta wasn't the first time. Just the worst."
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"...usually when you uh, got— serious, with someone. Like, dating wise. Friends, sometimes, but they— they didn't usually take time the same way, I-I don't know."
She's cringing even as she admits it, humiliated by her own stupid emotions. It's not normal to be jealous of people around your brother, like this, and knowing it's something wrong with her brain helps rationalise it but... ugh.
"You never did anything wrong, you were just... living your fuckin' life and I'd sit there feeling fucking sick because you didn't have as much time for me and— it's fucking stupid. I never said anything because it was fucking stupid."